“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
Heraclitus
Investigation Into Direct Experience:
Introduction:
All to often when we try and “think something through” it is a very intellectual process where we hope to come up with a solution.
This process works just fine when we are trying to remember what the missing ingredient was in those cookies we made last week or if it’s a left or right on Dublin Road to get to the grocery store. It becomes a huge contributor to stress when we try and figure out life such as “should I quit my job?” or “How do I get my partner to change their behavior?”
There are a few reasons why trying to figure out life is so very stressful. The reason we will go over today is that the vast majority of our assumptions about both our conclusions and the information we used to arrive at those conclusions don’t actually match our direct experience.
My favorite example of this comes from Dan Gilbert. I visited this topic before here and for those of you who haven’t heard his TED talks or read his book I highly encourage doing so. The basic question goes something like this…”Will I be happier if I get more of what I want and avoid more of what I don’t want” and the answer (spoiler alert) is No, you won’t.
This conclusion is so foreign to our normal way of looking at things that Dan Gilbert wrote a whole book to help you stop fooling yourself even though the answer is in the very first chapter. Almost everyone is absolutely convinced that the secret to being happy is getting ahead, accumulating more good things, and avoiding unpleasant experiences that our whole society revolves around this belief…and it’s NOT EVEN TRUE!
What do you mean by “not true”?
If you were to read his whole book, decided he was right, and then went on with your life as you did before reading the book then the process of self inquiry has not even begun.
The art of self-inquiry requires that you LOOK at your own life, your choices, your behaviors, etc. through the lenses of having discovered that something you assumed to be true might in fact be untrue.
What would it look like if you LIVED your life knowing that getting more of what you want wouldn’t make you happy? What would it be like to stop pretending? How might your actions and behaviors change if you really let go of this compulsion to get the world to meet your wants because you have begun to discover that getting what you want doesn’t actually make you happy?
Self inquiry isn’t about changing your believes to something different or “better” but rather letting yourself become stripped away of experiencing life through distorted lenses.
Up Next: Dan Gilberts “The Surprising Science Of Happiness” AND Looking Through Your Thoughts And Emotions