Your journey never ends. Life has a way of changing things in incredible ways.
Alexander Volkov
What Is Meditation? (It’s Not What You Think):
In the simplest terms meditation is “the practice of letting go of control,” or “letting things be as they are.”
Most of the people I talk with think that meditation is all about relaxing and quieting the mind when in fact if you actually TRY and relax and quiet the mind you will find out just how HARD it is to RELAX!
This is a case of cart before the horse; the goal (if there is one) to meditation is to “let everything be as it is, notice when you are trying to control your experience”. When you stop trying to manipulate your thoughts, emotions, and experiences (in short when you stop trying to control what’s happening) the natural bi-product is that you feel relaxed and the mind often calms down.
So the goal is “let go of control” and the AFFECT is relaxation and a calm mind.
Let Go Of Control? Are You Crazy!?
Perhaps! Before we get into this though let me clarify a bit. “Letting things be as they are” is often just as misunderstood as “meditation”.
Have you ever noticed how often you have a demand on this moment? Pause for a second here and notice…
- Do you have a demand on this moment?
- Do you have a purpose/goal for this moment?
- Are you trying to accomplish something?
- Are you trying to get more of something you like or less of something you don’t like?
- Is there something in your mind that needs to done in order for this moment to be worth having? (not “wasted” time?)
For almost everyone I have ever met there is an almost constant conscious or subconscious demand on their moment to moment experience. One of the most obvious examples of this is the all to common “I have to get X done first and THEN I am allowed to relax. If I don’t do X then I feel like I didn’t do enough today”
So what I mean by “let everything be as it is” is to let go of your agenda. Let go of your “it must end up this way”. Things can ONLY go wrong when there is a right way that they SHOULD go.
Does that mean I can’t do X?
This is usually one of the first things I hear when I teach this topic. “You mean I should just be passive and let the world go to hell?!”…nope that’s not what I’m saying 🙂
What if you practice a musical instrument everyday for years and never get good at it?
What if you share your deepest concern with your loved one and their behavior doesn’t change?
The “control” part doesn’t come with the action it comes with the demand on the action.
What if you could do what felt most fulfilling for a job and let go of your demand that you got lots of money or praise from your peers? (Yet enjoy money and fame if it arises naturally)
What if you could take action on what felt most right to you in the realm of politics yet let go of the demand that things change? (Yet enjoy your happiness when things do change)
What if you could share what’s most on your heart with your loved one simply for the joy of sharing yourself? (Often when we stop demanding someone change their behavior but rather genuinely share how their actions affect us with no attempt to manipulate them we empower the entire relationship to move in beneficial ways we couldn’t even imagine!)
One of the reasons meditation can be so beneficial is because you can’t actually control life yet you demand of yourself that somehow you do. How incredibly INSANE and stressful to FEEL like you are responsible for the your experience and even the experience of others!
Up Next: Well That Sounds Terrifying…